Saturday, October 18, 2008

I want to go

Honestly... My goals arnt college, they arnt good grades or a great well paying job as some business this or office building that. I could care less about any kind of a career... What dose that make me stupid ? Why is it that beacuse all I want issnt what one should want. I'm not looking for fame nor whelth I'm looking for happiness and love. I just want to be alive I want to focus on being a human being and growing .For Myself. Not for a grade not for some scholorship but for me I learn for me beacuse I want to know somthing beacuse I just find it intresting or beacuse I just want to exspand my vocabulary or knowledge.
I want to write and I want to find myself one day happy. Waking up to this air and feeling of self peace nothing I can touch or get the highest grade on somthing I can feel somthing I can be. I want to be hit by attraction and then work on or work towards love. ( maybe ) Love isnt a lighting bolt it dosnt just hit you Love is a choice it is a choice to let go and give without getting. To open yourself up to somone in hopes that they do the same and together you both discover love. It wont just hit me..Love isnt somthing that just happens its somthing you allow to happen. To love you have to let yourself be loved. And I want to be loved. I dont know this for a fact of course but I belive it and thats just the same isnst it ?
I'm moving to chicago and living. With my highschool nothings and a job at some clothing store hopefully an Urban Outfitters. I want to meet people and smoke alot of cigarettes. I want to find happiness...and I could very well do this by going to College and working in that Offiice Building but I could also do this by not going to college and not having a real career.
I have goals I have a path..Dont tell me that I'll go nowhere when you dont know where it is I want to go.

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