Saturday, August 7, 2010

Total Control

Maybe this is what it is, what I've been looking for. For the first time...I am feeling things on a level that I do not understand completely. I am unhappy...some very depressing things have happen tonight, he was depressing, it was depressing and she was heart wrenching but I am happy. Depressed but happy because I am depressed, happy because these feelings are real. I am real, she is real and this life is palpable I can feel it touch it. I am devastated...we are devastated. I feel for her...but I am hopefull and I know that we'll be alright that everything will be alright.

I'll be gone for awhile.
I feel it, this tree holds the earth and cradles the sky.
This is the spawn of the world and a seed from her, from our universe.
The rocks will melt, and the stars will die before I return.
Before I can come back..alive.
I'll be gone for awhile but I will be back.
This tree....its rooots must hold her heart.
It's roots must hold the sky.
Grow, grow for me, breath for me, die and live for me.
I need you, I love you, thank you.
Thank you death, and thank this hole.
THIS is what a hole feels like.
Looks like.
Sounds like.
Thank you, I will be gone for awhile, but I come back alive. I come back.
I come back.
It's roots...they have to hold her heart, it's roots they have to touch the ground.
It's roots..I hear..even when they can not make a sound.
Run with me.
Be with me.
Thank this hole, thank this tree I will be gone for awhile.
I come back.....

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Your so far.

self portrait by alecjessephotos.

Sometimes you seem closer....
Someday I'll be closer.

Don't be angry baby .....