Saturday, April 18, 2009

Wow baby.

Somthing about tonight, goodbye.
I've said hello a million times but I could count on one hand how many times I've said goodbye.
Not many people, mean enough to say goodbye to.
I've mett you, and for some, I will not care to not see you.
Here or there, it wouldnt faze me with some of you.

But with you, I felt it did.
Your my best friend, and now I find myself shy.
Shy from the title.
Are you my best friend ? We've always been so close, and yet I'm shy.

Maybe it's okay, for us to go our seperate ways. Maybe I'm growing without you.
Maybe I'll live a life without you.
Your still my friend.
You'll always be, but maybe, you wont always be with me.
I can't look at you the same, honestly you were out of line. And I saw who I've been seeing, who I didnt want to see. And now I'm not sure you and I are meant for future.

For stuff and nonsense, maybe for here and now.
I know about the future, for the first time I can see the idea.
I wanted forever for all of you. And I feel strongly that one of you willl be forever.
Why cant you grow ? Why can't you stop being like this, doing things like this.
I've grown and now it's as if everything about you is..small.
I can't bare to deal with your antics anymore. I find them annoying.
You need to start moving, beacuse youve stopped and now your shrinking. Nothing will save you, but people will help you, I just dont want to be one ot them.
I don't want to help you anylonger.

Be my friend for now. For things, have changed.
Like a weed.

Monday, April 13, 2009

So it's been like a year.

I've pretty mush been attached to my Journal. So I havn't really found a reason to post anything...but as I sit in french class..with nothing to do I suddenly find time to say somthing. Well Alix is in Seattle and that makes schoool practically...death. I feel like shit. I look like shit. But besides that, everything is more then on track, everything is fantasic. Once you make school a rutine and you just go with it, without sceaming to skip or complaining about staying, school goes by sooo fast. I've just gottten over hating somthing I have no way out of. In fact school is only going to help me rite now, all I need to do is graduate and I know I can do that. I owe it to everyone around me to do somthing on the path. So I wake up, I take a shower ( not today badddd move ) get dressed do my hair. Get driven to the bus stop and while i wait for the bus I have a cigg. Then i get on the bust listen to my ipod and sleep then i go to school. Pay attention and try my best to do all that is asked of me and then when the bell rings I get on the bus and I listen to my ipod and then I get off and sometimes my mother will be there to pick me and if shes not then i will have a cigg. Then I will walk home and then by at least 4 30 start whatever homework i have and doo as much as i can fucking take. Beacuse even tho i have learned to deal with shcool I HAVE NOT !!! gotten over my haterd for homework. I fucking hate homework and i think that teachers are fucking BULL SHIT for giving students homework. But w.e
The point is thattt i get it, i got it i do what i have to do and then i move on I get out, its that simple...and its that hard. But its do-able and i know i can do it. Tonight i have a pretty big assiment on my hands and its a project due for mrs hendersens class so i need to get my ass into gear. BLLLAAA i'm soo fucking bored ill talk about fucking anything at this point my mind acts like a red bull on a rampage when bored. Give me a keyboard and I'll type even tho it wont make sense.
Soooo today was kinda terrible, and I'm really not looking forward to dealing with homework when i get home or dealing with anything for that matter im just not in the fucking mood. Also i feel fat as fuck from easter yesterday which is even more perfect and Im greasy cuz i didnt take a shower. WHY CANT I LEARN NOT TAKING A SHOWER IN THE MORNING WILL FUCK ME OVERR WHEN IT COMES TO SCHOOL IT ALWAYYYSSSS FUCKKING DOES AND IM SOO FUCKING OVER THAT SHITTTTTT ugh why cant i learn. Its laziness thats the problem. I'm so fucking tired i just give the fuckk up well we are in the last 15 minutes of school and im just looking forward to getting on the bus and getting home i have like a quater of a ciiggggyyy waiting for me and im dying.