Sunday, March 8, 2009

Your happy and thats great.

- land of talk

Over it.

Seeing it in print and in picture and in real would think it would have made it worse, but it didnt, I feel better. For a momment I stressed over it i dwelled on it. But then I just dropped it, there isnt anything I will do...anymore.

I will not look for it and I will not beg for it. Beacuse I've some pride left. This reputation I have is silly and stupid..beacuse I am not like that...and tho it might have seemed as if i was...I was never. I was caught up in somthing I didnt understand....and the backlash was even more confusing..The point is I'm over it I'm done. and I will admit that i am without a boyfriend without a love intrest and without being intrested in but no one will ever call me ALONE.. no one can. I am not alone at all I am simply single. And in some ways glad of it. I let things happen beacuse I didnt understand them. I did things beacuse I wanted some kind of standard..I wanted some kind of leverage. So this is it my love life status...It's empty and its pretty much dead. But thats okay beacuse I can revive it.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


It's funny.
Latley all I want to do is sleep.
Sleep and smoke.
Smoke and sleep.
Beacuse everything else just gets me nowhere.
And I wante to think that one day he would find me.
Just beacuse when your not looking its supposed to look for you, find you.
Beaucse thats what everyone tells you.

Knock and you will receive Knock and the door shall open.
Well I've been knocking.

If your out there. You'd really be a great help. I need you rite now.
I need you.
I wouldnt ask you unless I needed you...and I do.
Beacuse all around me they are blooming and they are blosseming. But I am, stunted and I am scared. So if you are out there. Come.
Answer my call.
I'm to proud to look for you
And I'm to proud to admit I was wrong. To admit that its not fair.
That he's happy. That I'm not. That i'm loosing. This has all really just smacked me in the face. and I can't take it.
Once more Hello, if you are out there. If you are there. Please come to me. Come be with me. Beacse I need you beacuse I want you.....

maybe you are there....and maybe it's to far to gong.
and maybe this....
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure
I'm sad.