Monday, October 27, 2008

Broken English

I lay in my bed watching one of my favorite movies, Broken English. When I realize how amazing the movie really is, how easily I can see her life as my own life in the future...Then another thought comes to mind. This isnt a new thought it's been on my mind since last night when sitting by my window talking to Averie she said somthing to me. To be honest I was a little offended...I was taken aback by her words..and how honest and dead on she was. This thought was surrounding myself.
Sometimes I just get this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to die alone. It's sounds pretty rediculas I know but to be honest is it really? Look at me look at who I am and pay attention to what everyone of my ex boyfriends have said. Some people seem to like the way I look but not the way I am. People or boys in piticular dont seem to like me very much. Honestly I'm not sure I even like myself all that much. Sometimes I'm pleased with who I am..other days like today and some of yesterday..not so much. I think I need to stop trying to appeal to somthing to someone and just try being honest...maybe instead of all the fliring or the antics I should simply tell them the truth. The truth however wouldnt be to appealing and I'm sure it be a turn off but if it was appealng and if it didnt turn them off to much then I would know they liked me for me. Telling them rite off the bat would save them the time of figuring out that I'm a freak. I'm just looking for somone to like me. Not be into me just like me. As a fucking person.

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