Total Control

Maybe this is what it is, what I've been looking for. For the first time...I am feeling things on a level that I do not understand completely. I am unhappy...some very depressing things have happen tonight, he was depressing, it was depressing and she was heart wrenching but I am happy. Depressed but happy because I am depressed, happy because these feelings are real. I am real, she is real and this life is palpable I can feel it touch it. I am devastated...we are devastated. I feel for her...but I am hopefull and I know that we'll be alright that everything will be alright.

I'll be gone for awhile.

I feel it, this tree holds the earth and cradles the sky.

This is the spawn of the world and a seed from her, from our universe.

The rocks will melt, and the stars will die before I return.

Before I can come back..alive.

I'll be gone for awhile but I will be back.

This tree....its rooots must hold her heart.

It's roots must hold the sky.

Grow, grow for me, breath for me, die and live for me.

I need you, I love you, thank you.

Thank you death, and thank this hole.

THIS is what a hole feels like.

Looks like.

Sounds like.

Thank you, I will be gone for awhile, but I come back alive. I come back.

I come back.

It's roots...they have to hold her heart, it's roots they have to touch the ground.

It's roots..I hear..even when they can not make a sound.

Run with me.

Be with me.

Thank this hole, thank this tree I will be gone for awhile.

I come back.....

Your so far.

Sometimes you seem closer....

Someday I'll be closer.

Don't be angry baby .....